God Loves a Workin' Man, or, See a Doctor and Get Rid of It

Don't freak out on me, but I am a white man. So white, in fact, that I reflect 99% of the sun's rays that hit me back into space. See?? I am whiter even than Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer put together. Yes, I am a white man, but I so long to be black.

Tyrone is my friend. Don't freak out on me, but Tyrone is a black man. In addition to being black, Tyrone is a barber, and he is very good at barbering. I know this because people are always coming and going at his little barber shop near downtown Harrisonburg, Virginia and they often leave with less hair than when they went in.

I love my conversations with Tyrone. We talk about Barack Obama and John McCain and Sarah Palin. Our talks do not dwell on the surface much, and that is why I visit; mostly we talk at depth about things that are interesting at depth. He tells me how black people feel about things and I tell him how white people feel about things. Don't freak out on me, but the way white folks and black folks think on just about everything is as similar as good barbecue and bad barbecue. Permit me to reveal to any dear readers a little slow on the uptake, that I am trying to say that we do not think one damn bit alike, and anybody who says we do is selling something. Tyrone and I acknowledge our differences and generally embrace them. I think perhaps we enjoy each others' company because we usually end our time together feeling a little different than when we started.

Tyrone is always working. You know when he is there because he puts a folding sign along the road in front of his shop that says "Barber on Duty," and then in big letters, Tyrone. People like to see Tyrone's sign because they know they will get a good Emo side fringed (that is what some African-Americans call what many white people refer to as a haircut).

I stopped in to see my friend Tuesday afternoon. Business was slow; Mrs. Jackson was in the hospital and Tyrone had just sent over some soul food by one of his regulars.

I talked about debt and the US Treasury and recession, but Tyrone didn’t care much about these things at that moment. Tyrone is a cash man; he's always been a cash man. His mother taught him that the bible says not to borrow, and that's that. He does not take credit cards at his barber shop because none of his customers use credit cards; they're all cash-men who have cash-families. And their mothers' bibles said the same thing as Tyrone's mother's bible and that's that. Tyrone's people are not feeling the sting of the credit crunch like my people. I envy them that.

Tyrone previously mentioned that he will vote for Barack Obama, clearly not because he is a black man, or because Barack is a black man, but because Obama gives him reason to hope that hope is not dead in America. Tyrone feels that America has been heading in the direction of more greed, more hatred and more filthy rich people who will never, ever be rich enough to suit themselves while most of the folks he knows keep having a harder and harder time getting by. Obama, he says, energizes him and makes him want to care about our country, her people, and how she is perceived in the world. There is great feeling in Tyrone’s face when he speaks his truths to me, and there is passion in his eyes. He is not just spouting some rehashed line from one of a dizzying number of campaign adds targeting his people; he means it -- most sincerely -- and with all of his being.

Abruptly, Tyrone’s mood and visage changed from philosophical to onerous. He told me he heard that Virginia passed a law prohibiting political T-shirts at the polls, and asked me if I heard anything about it. I told him I hadn’t heard of such a thing, and surely that freedom of speech would be upheld – of all places – where people gather to vote. He said he thought the same thing, but asked me to keep my ears open, and I promised to do that. Regretfully, I did not have to listen long. I headed back to the barber shop with the news.

The color left Tyrone's face as I told him that Virginia state election officials decided Tuesday that, come November, Virginia polling stations would indeed bar anyone wearing T-shirts with political messages from the polls.

“Political T-shirts,” I told Tyrone, his eyes widening in disbelief, “are banned.”

OH NO THEY DID NOT.

Oh yes they did. From InRich.com Tuesday, Oct 14, 2008 - 12:09 PM Updated: 01:08 PM:

Don't wear a McCain or Obama T-shirt when you go to vote on Election Day.

The State Board of Elections today adopted a policy that bans T-shirts and stickers expressly advocating a candidate from the polls.

The policy was adopted over the objections of representatives of civil-rights groups, who said it might inhibit someone from voting.

The board has had a policy in the past against such campaign paraphernalia, but has never put it in writing. The result has been inconsistent enforcement of the rules on election day, said James Alcorn, an official with the State Board, said. (sic)

-- Tyler Whitley

http://www.inrich.com/cva/ric/news.apx.-content-articles-RTD-2008-10-14-0178.html

WHAT?? Had a policy but never put it in writing, the result of which was inconsistent enforcement on Election Day? How could any unwritten voting rule be enforced in the USA in anyone’s wildest imagination?

I left the shop feeling that somehow race relations between Tyrone and me had just become somewhat strained. I cannot know the reason why, because even though I know Tyrone, I do not know his people. I do not know his culture. I do not, and cannot, know Tyrone.

I certainly hope the matter will be robustly and openly discussed prior to November 4th. I have not yet had sufficient time to thoughtfully and calmly process very much of his, although I think its likely that when I get my arms around it, I will be quite put out. Don’t freak out on me, but I hope you might be a little mad, too.

“Now it's a good thing everyone in the ghetto reads the newspaper and watches the six o'clock news. I'd hate to think they'd be turned away at the polling station for wearing a Barack T-shirt they made themselves. I'm pretty sure the Obama campaign will be throwing newsletters out of a helicopter in north Richmond tomorrow.”
-Matt Long, Richmond, VA